THIS IS US!!!

I LOVE this series! It isn't by any means perfect, but it really delves into the complexity of the human person with the good, the bad, and the ugly.

SPOILERS ALERT: 

Some small spoilers may be contained in the content below.

DISCLAIMER:

This blog post was written prior to watching any full episodes from Season 2 but after viewing many spoiler clips (since I was dependent on YouTube for anything I saw of Season 2).

PROS

This Is Us got so many things right, and I think it is a positive thing for our nation! While I acknowledge the characters carry many mentalities that I believe are harmful and untrue, when it all comes down to it the film portrays good people who have made mistakes and are trying to get back on their feet. It portrays the complexities of marriage while providing the image of an INCREDIBLE husband being for his wife and kids what I think God calls most if not all fathers and husbands to be. Jack is not without fault. He comes with an addiction to alcohol, most likely as a coping mechanism after the troubled childhood he went through and his experiences in Vietnam. 

But he is trying his best and doing an INCREDIBLE job. He works hard, attempting to overcome his faults so that they will not bring harm to his family and so that he can be his best self for them. Personally, of all things I look for in a guy, I think one of the #1 things I look for is openness to acknowledging one's faults, the intention to improve, and real action in that direction (not a facade but true intentionality and effort that does not go away). Jack sets a great example in this way. 

While Jack may seem super-human in many ways -> for example, he somehow always has the EXACT right words on his lips when speaking to Rebecca and the children, he is a great example for men to strive towards in that he truly loves his family, works hard for them, isn't afraid to express his love for them, and above all makes sacrifices that involve putting their well-being of his family before his own desires and tastes. He provides an incredible example of protector, lover, guardian, cheerleader, advocate, listener, and leader. Furthermore, he acts in these ways out of love and not simply to reap the benefits of such things for himself. That is a beautiful thing.

[And how often do we see this on TV??? Like... basically never! Way to go, This Is Us!]

~*~

Another thing I think this series did beautifully (in fact, one of the reasons I started looking into the series was because I read a mental health article that noted this strength) is that it portrays mental illness with great accuracy and empathy. Rather than simply portraying mental illness as something people walking the streets smoking marijuana struggle with, it shows how one of the shows most admirable characters, Randall, struggles with the illness.

Of all the characters in the series, I think many if not most viewers would agree that he is one of the most admirable. With many similarities to Jack, Randall strives to be a strong support and sensitive listener for his family. He truly loves his wife and is a hard worker. He comes to life with good intentions and loves with a full heart. Randall is far from the stereotypical "person struggling with mental illness" that we see portrayed on TV. He has worked hard to accomplish so many goals in this life and to provide for his loved ones. 

Randall is very well of financially, due to hard work. As he notes to William, he paid a fortune out-of-pocket for his car. Randall is a top executive for the company he works for (a very well-off company) and has worked hard to get there. Randall has a beautiful home and a beautiful family. His marriage with his wife is... well, another marriage to look up to. His love for and relationships with his daughters is absolutely beautiful. Randall is even open to adopting a child. He wants to give to others the beautiful life and opportunities that were given to him. From the outside, Randall appears to have it all together. 

And yet Randall's humanness comes out when we begin to see his struggle with anxiety. He is a perfectionist by far (something I and I think a lot of people can relate to). He often takes on more than he can handle, because he wants to be there for everyone. He does this until he reaches his breaking point. While Randall doesn't want to acknowledge his limits, as time goes on he gradually looses physical abilities until crumbles under the weight of all he is carrying and all he expects from himself. As we learn from Beth and see as the shows plot line develops, this is not a one time event (a truth of anxiety disorders).

~*~

The show deals with so many struggles from addiction to mental health to weight issues. Kate brings forth an issue that is rarely if ever portrayed in television. She seriously struggles with obesity. Once again, just as Randall shows us that good and hard-working people struggle with mental illness, Kate shows us that kind, caring, well-meaning, BEAUTIFUL people deal with weight issues.

As actress Chrissy Metz notes in various interviews, overweight characters are rarely given lead roles with positive portrayals in the media. At best, they are portrayal as the beautiful, skinny blond's sidekick or someone to give the audience a laugh. While I don't agree with some of the values in Kate and Toby's relationship, this does not have anything to do with their weight. Aside from these relationship values (which I will touch on in the cons section and which by far do not only apply to this one relationship in the show), Kate and Toby provide a beautiful example of two people who see the beauty in each other rather than focusing on the fact that neither one has the body image that our unrealistic, fat-shaming media portrays as a must. No, they aren't perfect. Kate often does struggle with not letting her body image interfere with her self-image and their relationship, but this is also a realistic portrayal. To say these worries never cross the characters minds would take us out of reality into some fantasy world, and I think more than half of the point of this show is for people to be able to connect with the characters and to accept that we are all a mix of good and bad.

I actually think one of Kate's characters strongest moments is when she does break up with Toby (though I'm glad things improve and they are able to get back together), because she is doing something that the media also rarely portrays in a positive light --> as a woman, she is putting down her foot and telling her man that she has values and principles and that if he cannot live by them she deserves better and is not going to let him walk all over her. While Kate struggles in the show, the strength that shines through her in so many instances including this one is incredible. She is holding her man to his promises, standing up for herself, and looking for her own well-being. What makes this act all the more admirable is that Kate is not letting her emotions control her in the moment. Breaking up with Toby is one of the hardest things she has ever done, and if she were to simply follow her moment to moment impulses she would disregard the fact that the relationship was becoming unhealthy for her and let Toby have his way. Kate shows a great example especially to women and people dealing with weight issues in prioritizing her values, principles, and needs over the fluctuating drives and impulses within her. 

~*~

I haven't touched on race yet, and I am no expert in terms of what it is like living as a person of color, but I know that people of color face many unfair difficulties that those of us with white privilege do not. One of these difficulties is a lack of positive portrayal in the media.

I don't watch much TV, but if I am correct, black families are rarely portrayed on television. When black people are portrayed on television it is usually in a negative light. They are often portrayed as violent, and one's race is only mentioned when a person of color commits a crime.

Because I am not an expert of these things, I won't go into them a whole lot here, but I do think this is an important strength of This Is Us to note. This Is Us does a beautiful job of portraying a beautiful black family. The characters are admirable. They are not stereotyped as being unable to attain success. Real issues that people of color uniquely deal with --> such as the neighbors calling the police on William and the audience at Tess's play laughing at her portraying the princess "Snow White" are brought forth. This Is Us provides an uplifting portrayal while also an honest portrayal. 

The show deals with interracial families, noting the bullying that Randall gets from Kevin's friends at school, Randall's desire to be connected to the black community (where people can provide unique strengths and support including being able to relate to many of the unique struggles he is dealing with), and Jack and Rebecca's loving aura yet uncertainness when it comes to even smaller, everyday things such as whether to put sunscreen on Randall and where to get his hair cut.

~*~

There are a few lead characters I haven't touched on yet, and I am basically writing this strengths section character-by-character, because I think while different strengths overlaps in multiple characters, each character especially exemplifies a particular strength and/or brings forth a message that the world truly needs to see and hear in this time and place.

I actually really love the character of Kevin, and not because he's physically attractive. In fact, the two characters in this show that I personally find to be the most attractive are Jack and Randall (mostly because of their love and values, but they're also good-looking guys... like whoa!) As I was watching the first two episodes of the show, I already felt the strongest connection with Kevin. This is because of how deeply Kevin cares what others think of him. I have grown immensely in this regard and don't care half as much anymore, but this section is about Kevin, not me. Especially at the time I started watching this show the line that stood out the most to me was when Kevin was on the phone with Randall and said, "Because I care what everyone thinks."

I think, actually I know, all of us can relate to Kevin in some way in this regard. Some of us care more than others. As we get to know Kevin's character better, we see how his struggle began with him always feeling ignored and of lesser importance to his parents than his siblings as a kid. I think the show does a good job of showing how even good parents make mistakes that their kids will struggle with, because nobody's perfect. As an empathetic person, I really feel for Kevin when he is trying to get his father's attention in the pool and nearly drowns and when Rebecca shows more interest in that Randall can complete a rubies cube than in the fact that he took it from Kevin. The most heart-wrenching scene for me in relation to Kevin's childhood so far is the throwback scene to the night of a thunderstorm. 

Long story short, I think one of the greatest things Kevin brings to the shows viewers is the depth of an imperfect character. Kevin is striving for attention (which we all do at times), but he is also sick of feeling that he has to be fake and do things he does not want to do in order to get it. During Kevin's teenage stage, I find his character difficult to love when I see the way he treats his brother; however, his childhood helps me to see his humanness and the scars underneath and his older self gives me hope that he can and will become better in the future.

Kevin continues to mess up a lot at the adult. In many instances he does not show the same strength of character that Kate or especially Randall do. However, he can bring hope to people who deal with struggles similar to his (in attention-seeking, in sexual-impulses, in addiction) when they see that his character is both lovable and capable of doing good. Just because a person has a pattern of making mistakes, doesn't mean that they can't improve or turn around one of those moments to do the right thing --> like Kevin does when he goes to save Randall instead of starring in his new play. 

One beautiful aspect of the show is the growth we see in the characters and their strong moments even amidst their many errors and faults. I think Kevin and Kate, even Jack and...well...all the characters show us that progress is gradual but possible. There will probably even be times when we sink back into our old faults, but continuing to try and work is a strength and makes better possible!

~*~

I haven't even touched on Rebecca, so I will quickly try to pay her her dos. I honestly think I struggle with her character more than any of the other ones, because of the spouts she has with Jack, her preferential treatment towards Randall, her defensiveness, and her deceptions. But Rebecca is lovable too, and at times like when he walks into Jack's hospital room I really connect down to the depths with her pain and heartbreak, and I can tell that she is trying. She truly is a character of STRENGTH. 

P.S. I love Beth, and William also deserves his dos for the great love and accomplishments he has in life. Every single character, even the minor ones, bring a strength to the show. Unfortunately, I do not have time for every character in this analysis.

CONS

Whelp! That's a lot of Pros and is by no means all inclusive. That said, there are some Cons to the show, and some are so prevalent that they make me wince. I understand that if these common, modern values weren't present in the show many people would probably have a harder time connecting to it and it might not portray quite such a "typical" American lifestyle, that said I think it is important to touch on these faults so that viewers don't just fall into them.

I am someone with conservative values, but these values do not come without a base. Unfortunately, to explain my reasons for my values would require more than one blog post and, if done well, potentially a more eloquent writer (though I could try)? If you want a basic idea of my stance on sex outside of marriage, check out the blog post Why I Choose To Wait.

To get to the specifics of This Is Us, the show quite obviously views sex outside of marriage in a pretty positive light and as something a person wouldn't think twice about before entering into. We see this is Toby and Kate's relationship especially. While Toby is a very likable character and for the most part I'd like to say a good guy, he does seem to have a make-it-or-break-it deal that if he and Kate are dating they are obviously having sex. We see this very blatantly from episode one. At least in my perception of the episode, Kate's only reason for initially resisting the idea is because she is self-conscious about her weight. (It does not have to do with morals or values or her thoughts on whether this is a healthy thing to do in general outside of marriage, particularly with a guy you've just met...)

One moment I find to be cringe-worthy is when they get back together at Randall's house and right away go upstairs to have sex. I think there are a lot of reasons for feeling uncomfortable with this one. Aside from my whole "sex outside of marriage" stance, they are in Randall's house and do not ask permission! I feel like if you're at the home or a friend or family member for dinner this really is not called for and not appropriate. To top it off, Randall has two little girls in the house, so that could make things... awkward (and unhealthy for the girls). I think this instance also VERY blatantly pushes the idea that sex and love are simultaneous. So their proclamation that they care for one another isn't complete until they've had sex? 

Let's make a point here that love and sex are not simultaneous. Sex is an expression of love, but can only be so if it is for the good of the other, and it is only for the good of the other (and self) when in the stable basis of marriage. There's more to be said on that, but I'll leave it there for now.

Um, a few more sex-related moments. When Jack and Rebecca learn teenage Kevin is having sex, their concern is not so much with him having sex as with him using condoms. I also have reasons for being opposed to this practice, the primary one being the nature of sex and it's purpose (Christian and Catholic stuff but also human rights and human dignity stuff in general, so it doesn't simply apply to religion). Once again, this would require an entire blog post, but I can try to reference some good articles or books out there when I find specific ones!

There are other points throughout the film when the purpose of marriage and sex is mis-portrayed. Rebecca doesn't want children, and this isn't to say people can't not want to have children for a noble purpose, but the reason for not wanting to have children does matter. Randall and Beth use birth control (as do Jack and Rebecca), so these seemingly perfect marriage do come with specific sins and faults that are not so minor. 

FINAL TAKEAWAY

Pretty much any show you watch will have at least a tad bit of good and evil in it. The question as to whether or not it is good or okay to watch the show, in my mind, comes down to a few things and among those things is the amount of good influence/message in comparison to the amount of bad influence/message.

Overall, I think this show displays and does more good than evil, so I hope it can be watched with awareness of the faults and emulation of the strengths.

Would I show this show to my kids (when I have kids)? Each parent can use their own discretion, but I think I would wait until my children reach a more mature age and have a good grasp on good and evil. Personally, I don't consider this show a children's show because of the mature material related in it. That said, unlike most "mature" shows, I do think this show actually does have maturity in contrast to obscenity. It is a show I would recommend to most adults. It is great to relate to and can be great for discussion.

So if you haven't watched the show, I haven't spoiled too much, and you are of a mature age (and preferably with at least a decent level of ability to differentiate right from wrong -- and I know we might disagree on some of what is right/wrong/good/bad, but hey, this is us and I'm not trying to turn you into clones of me)... you have my thumbs up to check it out!